You seem very very angry about a joke that was made in slightly poor taste. But at least you threw in some ALLCAPS and "unnecessary" quotation marks for emphasis so we'd know not to take you seriously.

I'd prefer to wallow in my manufactured faux-outrage, thank you very much.

My grandparents are all dead. Maybe you should check your grandparent privilege.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Thank you. Yes.

If you enjoyed that, watch for the next time Lalas and Michael Ballack are on set together. Seething hatred.

Oh, come on. She's obviously full of shit.

This is a correct and relevant statement on 4K porn.

Or, you know, people willing to part with money in exchange for entertainment with the added bonus that they might come out ahead financially. Are movie tickets just a tax on people who lack sufficient imagination to dream up their own stories?

If the potential future viability of one's penis is at stake, there's no such thing as shame.

Yeah, but at what temperature is it no longer safe for me to pee outside? Your male readership demands this vital information.

Honest question here. Do you guys (ladies) really think about how your vulvas are going to be perceived aesthetically? Because as a man who likes ladies, which is presumably the intended audience for most of your vulvas, it couldn't be farther from my mind.

The answer is that they should not be taken seriously because at most they're a bit of light fun which reflect peoples' subjective opinions about things that don't actually matter.

I guess, but people have been talking dirty to each other for fun since...probably before recorded history? It's so incredibly normal! As far as I'm concerned, thumbs up to anything two people can use to get their rocks off together.

Is it really that strange for two people in a sexual relationship to enjoy sexually explicit texting? I've never really been sure why people even snark on it.

Awfully convenient that they're able to square their "worldview" with paying for cable.

The headline's ok, but replace "fights off" with "beats off" and it becomes transcendent.

1. How did you know I drink whisky every day?!?

Those drinks are all so...thick. I feel like I'd need utensils to eat them. What ever happened to a nice glass of whisk(e)y?

Wouldn't it be 2 bullets each? I've always murdered assuming a 1:1 points-to-bullets exchange rate.