I particularly love the ending for #3... wasn't sure where it would go when they were getting "belligerently drunk", and was happily surprised at the sheer simplicity of it. I dunno, I just love it. That (drunken) release from "oh shit, fire!" to "ha ha, but he save(d the) bread!" :D

Nah, fuck you.

:(

It is very possible that nobody takes himself more seriously than J.J. Watt.

Fixed.

"You guys brought a spike, literally a piece of garbage you found by the side of a road."

Rushing the field is awesome and I begrudge no one for doing it.

That's uh... that's not how you spell threw in this case.

You're a panda?

My reaction after moron Bo Wallace went brett-favre mode.

And i don't care for neither those teams.
Damn man, take the check down and kick the field goal.

SMDH

I'm also pretty sure the color guy (Brian Griese?) referred to the "beef curtain" coming in before the 4th-and-1 conversion earlier in the drive.

I found a new 'dis gon be good GIF.

Lupus is a real bummer. Get well soon.

This amount of wordplay should get you both a +1 and a banning.

Dollars to donuts he painted her green and spanked her like a disobedient leprechaun.

Logical fallacies are the best kinds of fallacies.

I'd make a tight end joke, but it wouldn't be relevant in her case.

She thought he was a different Notre Dame wide receiver. Golden Taint.

Corporeal punishment? Are they going to take my soul, or make my live in this body for eternity? Tell me more about corporeal punishment.

And who are you to tell Michael Sam's boyfriend what gender to identify as?

Upon receiving notice that Michael Sam beat up his boyfriend, he was subsequently re-instated and appointed team captain.