Yes, you’re that white boy who already got his.

“If the tables had been turned and I had used something...and been as insensitive as to say something like that, you’re talking about I would be boycotted, there would be people not buying my albums...”

The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

And Peggy!

Me during the inauguration:

I’d say, based solely on my understanding of demons; (of which I learned from the fine documentary “Supernatural”) is that all of this is the sign of what noted demonologists, Sam and Dean, call the “apocalypse.”

Disappointed that GG and Supernatural isn’t going to be a shared-universe situation.

Legally Bland

My divorce was neutral. I’d already mourned my relationship while I was in it so that by the time it was over, I was just completely numb and had replaced all my love for my ex with resentment.

Aussies joke that Neh Zehlendehs hev enly wen vehwel.

It’s important to remember one thing. If non-whites were not allowed to vote, the main plank on the dream Republican platform, Trump would still win in a landslide, horrendously incompetent debate showing and overall unsuitability for the job be damned.

super hella fragile racist extra #Bragadocious

so thats what a seventh degree burn looks like...

I live in my sweatpants, so I’m not sure you’re right.

But who even asked her to bring “perfection” to the world? No one asked for this. We already have Martha and a glue gun. We are all good.

Dear Mr. Carey,

He didn’t end up having to go into the car after her, but it’s hard to dive with a life jacket on and they couldn’t put it on her until she was out.

These fuckin’ people

I thought we all agreed that there was only one remake we needed.

Now I feel really old, given that this was my Saturday morning jam: