I was thinking shoes might play a role. This is the shot that amazed me:

I just looked it up and Taylor Swift is 5 inches taller than Madonna. So quite a bit taller, yeah. I didn't realize Madonna is only 5'5"!

Yet finding the clitoris is still a mystery to so many men, even the scientists...

"I think she likes sex already."

"I think she likes sex already."

This man is to literature what Thomas Kinkade is to art. With the repugnant, bigoted, asshole attitude to match.

am i the only person who likes birds?

I'll throw in an early prediction - since nobody I know likes The Grand Budapest Hotel, that will win Best Picture. Over the last decade, that seems like the most likely predictor in the category.

Ugh, Russell Crowe. I don't think that all older women want to play the ingenue. I think that Hollywood has a fucked up precedent where even middle aged male characters are usually played by actors who are an appropriate age, 40s/50s/60s, and they're coupled up with a female character who is purportedly the same age,…

Translation: He recently caught a matinee of Cabaret.

My kid is going to be watching me donate his fun gifts (non-necessities) to a charity because he can't stop stealing.

I hate people. Fuck this world.

I can't believe she had this guy around all day and picked Chris Martin instead!

seriously, I'm always so confused as to why everyone is congratulating her on marrying him and not the other way around.

ALWAYS #TEAMMONKEY. THERE IS NO OTHER VIABLE TEAM PERIOD FORGET IT

I love dogs so much!

I didn't think it was possible to get bored of something so expensive, but I must say I'm a bit truffled out, and my flat now smells of truffles. That's what people call a first world problem, I know.

Can we just all be finished with Victoria's Secret anyways? I don't have any patience left for their tone-deaf campaigns, tacky shows and shitty, shitty bras.

THANK YOU! I'm all, "my liver and kidneys detox me JUST FINE." Drives me nuts when people bring up "toxins."

Bravo! People see me drinking my smoothies and juices and are all like, "are you on a cleaaaaaaaanse????" And im always like, "no, sucker, im drinking vegetables bc I hate chewing them. I like a liquid delivery system and I chew nothing but Nutella crepes."