I can’t believe I ever questioned your self proclaimed status as a “wypipo-ologist.” You, sir, have clearly done the education.

I don’t know why these micro-dick people insist on drawing attention to their inadequacy by inviting people to suck their dicks. How is it a boost in self esteem for someone to have to inspect their junk with a jeweler’s magnifier while snickering and poking tweezers down there?

So glad that Suxkmycock and Suckcok’s sucky invites were declined because they don’t sound the least bit suck worthy. I can just hear invitees saying: Naw, Cletus, I don’t have nary a suck to give.

I’ll admit there’s room to grow.

More than willing to.

Those jokes sure didn’t.... measure up.

In my old neighborhood, there was a Maggie that everybody called “Mrs. Curtains” because she sat by the window, meddling , playing old video games, smoking weed and listening to a Bearcat scanner. She loved calling the police on Black people and telling lies that she never got in trouble for. But she FAAFO when she…

I just didn’t want to short change anybody.

Being invisible has its advantages. The spolight of blame for all society’s ills passed straight over Gen X on the way from Boomers to Millennials.

It’s best that you kept it short.

Don Cheadle is patient as a saint.

No, no. In AMERICA we are all Mexican with any hint of Latin-ness. Racism leaves little room for the nuance of ethnicity.

Nah - they have nothing to do except peek through the curtains just waiting for imaginary infractions to come into view.

I was expecting a flash of short man on short man violence, but I keep forgetting that Samuel L. Jackson’s “little brother” (who kicked Iron Man’ ass and took his stuff) is still five inches taller than Kevin Hart.

Nope. Spot on.

What I want to know - is there some secret call that brings them up outta their houses like zombies from graves, to come out and fuck with non-white people? And why are they everywhere I go? What happens if you say their names five times in the mirror? Or duct tape them to utility poles on busy corners?

Also to our credit: The Obamas. You’re welcome bitches.

I better get started on the popcorn for next week's Clapback...

I mentioned this to a friend in the UK, and they confirmed that Maggies are the absolute worst. And then they started singing “Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead”.

So Miss Ann can be a Becky, Karen or Maggie Emeritus?