I appreciate your reference to Ella Enchanted.

OH MY GOD DO NOT PLAN ON TEACHING IN LA.

Sounds like fun. My first time was with my first serious bf, who was an abusive asshole. I so wish I had lost it to a hot guy in high school I'd hooked up with once (and then starting sleeping with on breaks, so all's well that ends well). But yeah, use a couple forms of birth control, make sure you have some lube on…

Honestly? Practice. After college I ended up with a bunch of shitty retail jobs, and that's an industry where you have to talk to people who don't want to talk to you. It was super awkward and hard at first, but now I'm comfortable chatting with basically everybody and my shyness only takes over maybe once a year. I…

Oh, Burt darling, you keep truckin'.

You rule the internet forever. Please start working for Jezebel now so I can formally cite you in Adult Person Conversations.

I hate to say it, but I love it when there's a complete breakdown of civilization in the comment section.

Oh my god, I saw the actor in some random episode of some random show (maybe Always Sunny?) playing proto-Jean Ralphio. It was amaaaaaaazeballs.

Well, I'll say this about it: I worked at an outdoor mall that had a Hooter's close by. The waitresses came around pretty frequently with coupons and they were super enthused about the food, especially the fried pickles and curly fries. A lot of people who worked at the mall would order from there, because the coupons…

Well, I'm crying a lot now. The first time you can see him decide to smile? GAH.

So hypothetical fear of a court battle is hypothetically costing you your child, marriage, and well-being?

Mm. That's almost worse, you know. Now it's a secret nuclear option the kid doesn't know about? Yikes.

And your actions and attitudes would be saying what, exactly? Your kid will know that if s/he moves outside of the parameters of acceptable emotions (wanting to meet the sperm donor, wanting to know that part of their past, wondering, hoping about it, scared maybe, possibly meeting and loving someone else) will turn…

Wow, I hope your child knows that your love is conditional and limited.

I spent most of June working at a theater putting up the musical "Scottsboro Boys" (controversial, yes, but that's a conversation for another day that I am happy to have), and watching a similar thing happen all over again almost a century later... We are a fucked country. We are totally fucked. I don't even know…

Your mother is terribly wise.

Well, it's ballsy to publish this. And I'm sure dear Nick doesn't give a damn about what I think, but I think this puts me off lining his pockets with pageviews. PROVE ME WRONG, DENTON.

The rise of dubstep did a hell of a lot for this movie.

Yeah, but they all turn into dicks.

Did anyone see this odd blog on the linktrail?