My real self doesn't know what he's (I'm) talking about. OBVIOUSLY (since time and logic aren't factors) John Farrell (i.e. Thinly Veiled Younger Me) should be played by TATE DONOVAN CIRCA 1996, so that I can vicariously pretend to have just dumped Young Sandra Bullock so I can start banging Young Jennifer Anniston…

He choo choo choosed incorrectly

Still not the grossest croc footage I've ever seen.

Akira needs to be on Netflix. -__-