These are everywhere in Houston. I would guess I see 10 for every one Pathfinder, Rodeo, Blazer/Jimmy/Bravada, Explorer, Montero of the same era, and they’re almost always as clean and straight as the picture.

Yeah, this is really a clear case of how our “not being a shithead” system has been in need of further funding and for a long time.

Yeah, it’s called “buying the weird configuration in the weird color they couldn’t unload last year.”

Just wrap a rubber band around the throttle button and walk away. The Escudo will win your endurance race for you!

One time I drove my wife’s MINI without adjusting the seat height. I drove over a speed bump and hit my head on this thing so hard I thought I might have a skull fracture.

Hey Winslow, did you get a load of the nerd?

That one dish in the catering line that makes you feel like an asshole for not knowing what the hell it is.

He makes this face entering every room.

Right? What if the President gets elected and then gets nosebleed blood all over the Constitution? We’d have to throw it away!

Oh look, Dean the rape machine,
I’d go outside if he’d look the other way.
You wouldn’t believe the things he’d do.

Yeah, that’s great...but who is the Commander in Chef?

Hey, I saw on Craigslist that Chestburger Nightmare is looking for a new drummer!

Can’t you just give your kid Flamin’ Hot Limon Cheetos and let nature take its course?

Are there still servers for that? UT was such a blast.

So Football Helmet Guy is too weird to get hired for any normal job, but what if you just wear football shoulder pads over your normal clothes, and deflect questions about that? I think you could probably still succeed in the business world if you made some quip about ‘taking your new responsibilities on these…

“Why, it’s almost as if you were wearing a football helmet inside your own head.”

Please don’t construe our ownership of this as an endorsement of slavery!

Please tell me it said: “WEED IS LEAF” underneath it.

Soup is just a bowl of room temperature ketchup! Everyone knows this!

Hey guys!
Wear an entire fucking shirt.
Yes, planes are hot. We’re all hot. Have a modicum of adult dignity and leave the sleeveless shirt in your luggage. I don’t need your back hair, bare armpit, or flabby barbed-wire tattoo in my face. And as for the ladies, I know such apparel is mandated by the whims of fashion,…