Similarly I wish you would just shut up already. 

I thought that too, but remember: he said it in Spanish.

This is the old man I strive to become.  Has empathy, but not without enjoying the absurdity of life. Also I would like to own a hat

Thank you all for the correction, I was mistaken.

What about Mark Davis’ helmet though? 

Hannity: “I don’t think Jeffrey Epstein was raping underage girls as much as saying older women are repugnant.”

He lives in a hockey arena. He is used to being able to pound on glass with no consequences. Welcome to the real world, Satan.

Honest answer? It was probably a prat fall type thing where he’d hit the wall/glass and fall down. The glass was obviously weaker than he anticipated.

Other takes? We’ve been told for years now that devils have no respect for our invisible barriers and this just confirms it.

Devil made him(self) do it

Those of us over 30 all saw Terminator 2.

No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Except that the GIF for the article is literally the dude getting in the other dude’s face:

When even Belle and Sebastian are making fun of your sexuality, you’ve probably played something wrong. 

I’d prefer if they tried the Radman Theory, meaning the entire franchise would ollie off a cliff. 

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

I think we’re gonna need a bigger belt.

I was going to make a funny Argentina joke, but I don’t know anything about Argentina except that they have empanadas, and I ate some last night for dinner.

I’ve been waiting 22 years for this clip to be relevant, and now it finally has happened!