I love self-defecating humor!

“Appears to have mustache, talks into head-set occasionally. Yells at underperforming people. Pumps fist when defensive stop is made. Team logo is on shirt.” — evaluation of Jeff Fisher by a hypothetical person in charge of Rams football operations.

Pork chop sandwiches!

the eagles tried this with riley cooper not to long ago, but he doesn’t blend in well with anything of color.

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

“I’d rather die on my feet, than live sitting in my car.” - Emiliano Zapata, probably

Why use a picture of Adam Corolla, Guy Fieri, and Donald Trump Jr.? This is worse than Redford’s.

Using a bunch of stuffed animals left all over the place as motivation to beat someone was actually Adrian Peterson’s idea.

Ha. Christie was probably promised a sack of donuts and a tub of mayonnaise for dipping. Giuliani was probably promised an old school plantation with all the fixins. Horrible people.

+1 wet blanket (full of cholera)

The bottom picture seems to have light radiating from inside the stadium. Evidence of the Raiders getting nuked by the other team.

+1 Coconut, brother

Judge: Mr. Snuka can you tell the jury when you first experienced the headaches that caused your dementia?

You misunderstand me. I’m friends with a shark bite victim so it’s cool

This is just like the time when I broke my hand playing Golden Tee, while drunk at a bar. I eventually recovered physically, but the mental scars remained. Can’t tell you how many times I was asked to play. But I just couldn’t.

Counterpoint: these are all unnecessary unless you’re trying to be a model or something. Just practice basic hygene and you’re fine.

This is a bunch of horseshit.

My face is going to age gracefully like a well-worn baseball glove. Like Robert Redford. I’m pretty sure he’d drink Bay Rum before putting any of this nonsense on his face.

1. Extra Toilet Paper

Of course, the Heat are likely much more concerned with the legal and public relations ramifications of Bosh having a serious medical episode on the court than about his long-term health.

Officials became suspicious when he punctuated a drive in the lane by yelling, “You Millennials are entitled.... to getting dunked on!”