I don't know why girls with flat asses insist on wearing these...like, the only juice you got back there is low fat.

Okay white people, here it is:

hahaha.

I can't believe the Germans are having orgasms over this performance and Kaka's not even involved.

You'd think most Brazilians would be used to the pain of a good waxing by now.

Germany's pre-game ritual finally pays off.

I think the word is Schweinsteiger.

Can we blame DeAndre Yedlin's terrible hair choices on the issues of race in America? Cause jeeeezus some of his choices need an excuse.

Dani Alves, also Brazilian, also blonde.

While I agree that Özil, even when he's at top form, looks like a strung out heroin addict on the pitch, he definitely hasn't been playing at his best. And hasn't in quite some time.

He's not made the right decision the majority of this world cup: passing when he should shoot, shooting when he should pass, missing the goal when he shoots. I think it's a confidence thing. It's not as if this is the first time in his career he's ever been asked to play out of position.

*WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS AWFUL STORY FOR YOUR DUMB JOKE MINUTE OF THE DAY™*

All of this further makes you wish, as obvious as it seems to say, that this WC hadn't been ravaged by injuries. Adding Reus to the German squad would completely change the outlook of it's midfield

Mmmmm. . . Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon. . .

I signed up for an account when the site was still in beta. I'm 38. I'm owning my nerdery.

magical weed must be AMAZING

Why does everyone say that? LUNA DOES NOT NEED A MAN. She thugs 'em, fucks 'em, loves 'em, leaves em, but she don't fuckin' need 'em. She probably married this Rolf Scamander asshole for his money; he'll disappear in a week's time.

My girlfriend worked as a server for a long time and got her fair share of ... suitors. I don't believe anyone actually touched her, (I would raise hell and I hope she would, too) but plenty of men have tried to ask her out/get her number/flirt shamelessly. Now she's a mortician and it still happens to her almost…

Not too long after I moved from NYC to SF, I was bartending in a place that served food very late for SF. (For you New Yorkers, SF closes about 4 hours earlier than NYC.)