Ohhhh i bet there's plenty of real illegal drugs too

There were dildos coming out of the wall, there was a giant mechanical penis for people to ride—just a lot of peen happening. Ah, 22.

Her eyes say even Miley knows this party is stupid.

Either that, or she's stoned. Probably the latter, I guess.

LOOK AT ME I'M CONTROVERSIAL!!!


I HAVE EVEN HAVE FAKE PENIS'S AND SEMI LEGAL DRUGS ITS CARRRRAAAAZYYYYYY

This is like the dumbest humblebrag ever.

He was going to eat the damn cakes regardless of what kind of crab it was so there was no reason to even ask.

I NEED TO KNOW WHERE JIM WENT

Ugly girls? Really, dude? You know we can see what you look like, right?

We all need to take a moment to truly absorb the knowledge that Harmony legit docked this restaurant a star because their food was too flavorful.

I give you Ed:

"Summery"

Kelly, why rely on Polaroids when you can use computer programming!

"but it gets doubly funny when you consider Matthew is reviewing a goddamned Benihana"

That's like docking points from an orgasm because it felt too good.

And this just furthers my understanding that online reviews are useless crap...

If we can't trust a multinational conglomerate hell-bent on empire, who can we trust?