You probably should not have edited the photo -- the person doing that may very well turn out to be governor.

Razzle Dazzle Root Beer 

Jerry Reinsdorf is now carrying the on the proud tradition of Bill Wirtz -- making Chicago eat shit sandwiches until he is cold and dead. 

None of those other dudes are Grinders, though. 

R’s want to be able to torture, maim, and kill terrorists — and anyone who disagrees with Trump is a terrorist.

The Hulk was in the Hulkbuster armor which got melded with a mountain, then 15 seconds later he is free. Plus, if Thor was like 20 seconds faster he could have prevented the snap. 

“America, if you are listening, I hope you are able to find the 10 years worth of tax returns that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.” 

It is my dream to be beaten up by the person to whom I am publicly masturbating against their will....or really any librarian or lunch lady.

THIS. The House can decide how long the impeachment lasts and how many times they impeach. Impeachment gums up the political works. 

This is how they came up with the casting ideas for the Mandalorian

I skipped the bee-ginning. 

But if we stop deferring to the rich, what is the point of even making money anymore? 

“You don’t takes notes about a major criminal conspiracy!” -Stringer Bell

Nobody was this down on her when she was handing Trump his ass in January. 

So Luke was terminated by one of Magic Johnson’s former aides?  

If illegal immigrants are such a curse, why does Trump keep hiring them? 

Any Bears fan will tell you -- he sucked A LOT more in Chicago. 

Comforting. Trump ran on immigration in 2018 and got his clock cleaned. I sure hope whoever runs against Trump doesn’t criticize him, but has the smarts to go after that creep Stephen Miller, who is really creepy, and has no friends, and is a fucking weirdo. A creepy fucking weirdo. 

It is actually a number of words jammed together into one word in the name of German efficiency.

If you don’t get it, then post your name, zip code code, phone number and credit card info right here. So far no one who says they “don’t get it” has taken me up on my offer. Will you have the balls to be first?