Ordinarily Chicago fans are upset when someone reaches out and tips a ball away.

Any truth to the rumor she's headed to ACN to join new love interest Will McAvoy?

Yeah, I'd say we know what's on "Reader Brian"'s mind.

WAS he part of that culture, though? Nearly all of those things happened prior to his conscious memory, for starters, and even beyond that we've all known for years that LeBron is not a Cleveland sports fan - the guy's a Yankees fan for fuck's sake. He's a massive frontrunner when it comes to sports. Fleeing to…

Yet more golf jokes from Reilly!

Great, one more year of stories about Affirmed breaking out the champagne.

At least this proves the groin strain wasn't connected to Pat the Bat.

Yeah, I like Darke, but Tyler absolutely nailed it.

And his thing about how it would take City a century to catch up to United's history, as if that were at all relevant. Yes, how magnanimous of Ferguson to grant City the absolute minimum of credit before going off like a total whiner. And the idea of Ferguson giving another team a hard time for supposedly elongated…

What bothers me far more than people knee-jerk dismissing soccer is the fact that clearly most of these people were angry because they couldn't watch Around the Horn.

When asked about the possibility that the Wildcats might choke, Knight replied, "Now that's behavior I can support."

Meet me in Sweet Louis!

He learned under Bob Knight, so it's not like this is shocking. I guess this just proves that to get away with being an asshole you just have to avoid physical violence, and stick with the psychological battering only.

Sadly, Whitlock was forced to give up his dream of being a standup comedian when he found out that, as the name says, comedians do tend to remain standing for the duration of a performance. He continues to hold out hope for being America's first successful Barcalounger comedian, however.

Whitlock refused to eat vegetables, not even baby carrots, which he described as "a couple inches of pain."

Deadspin results in one of the only cricket catches you'll ever see

And after a while, crocodiles.

+2: Their First Assignment

My favorite part of any sketch that relies on Kenan doing a voice is when he inevitably drops the voice halfway through.

Is that Simmons at around 0:10, standing up several seconds late as if he's just trying to get on TV?