$155,655.00 can buy a lot of things I don't want a stupid person to own. I hope whoever bought this enjoys his or her unattractive and heavily overpriced T-shirt.

To relieve burning sensation, apply palm to face.

His replacement liver is going to cost the customers $0.0000176 more per pizza.

I HATE it when people say you don't belong anywhere if you're mixed. I went to college with a guy who lectured me on why he didn't date outside his race "because the kids wouldn't have an identity". Why was this guy telling me I have no identity?

And that he signs his email "Internet Penis Sensation Jon Hamm".

You are not alone at all.

False.

I need this clarified. Did you really just propose carding women who are buying underwear? Or just underwear you personally find slutty? What organization will be in charge of underwear standards and practices? How old does one have to be to buy underwear? What kind of men's underwear will be prohibited for…

"The media would probably find us far less militant if they followed us to church, the WSU Bible Study, the WSU book club, nature trips, or going out to dinner as a group... "

Am I the only one who thinks diamonds are for stuffy grandmas with lipstick on their dentures? That's all I think about when I look at them, regardless of context (Jennifer Aniston's finger, David Ortiz's ear) GRANDMA. Just someone's powder-smelling, tacky grandma.

I was never a big Barbie fan, but I strongly favored my Miko doll over the iterations of Barbie. I am half Filipina, so I probably identified with Barbie's "exotic" friend from the unspecified Pacific islands.

I didn't say friends, I said "people in social situations". Friends of friends, other customers in a pub who strike up conversation, co-workers (so many co-workers) who drink my Lactaid and replace it with milk. I encounter quite a few people I don't like.

Brace yourself, it's going to get worse. Waiters and people in social situations become openly hostile when I ask for no cheese on a burger or sandwich. I've had waiters loudly mock me and call me "Little Miss Lactose Intolerant".

By "perpetuate" do you mean "portray"?

This is why Henry Rollins is the ruler by which I measure all men and women.

It's certainly been said 'nuff.

Allowed?

MUSTARD BOUNTY!

How did this not end with "You've been a great audience! Now the man you're all here to see ANDREW DICE CLAY!"?

I almost made it though with out freaking out. I really did, and I felt I was growing as a person. As it turns out, I have a trigger phrase.