Did someone paint a face on a wardrobe?

The original was way more violent than I remember it

I concur!

That's getting me hot. Really hot, so hot I've gotta take off my sweater.

If I had a million bucks I'd buy a new ass. Because my one has a crack on it.

Expert ball handler.

Here's the coffin they used

Sarah Harding from talentless UK pop queef girl band Girls aloud. Doesn't even get out the car park before crashing.

He only took one step towards him.

Is he a swimmer now?

I've said it before on Deadspin, but I'll let Partridge verbalize my thoughts on this 'scandal' :

FIAT= Fix it again tomorrow.

This story may be apocryphal, but when the car 1st came out I read that a journalist doing over 150mph in it accidentally dropped one into 1st gear causing the gearbox to almost hit the Hubble space space telescope.

Cause of death: Lead foot.

Are you talking FIBA, NBA or Lebron James rules?

You sir, are a genius.

He wears leather bracelets. What a chinpipe.

I know, why write 'save for maybe' when 'apart from' would do.

Agreed. Totally engrossing.

OK, will do.