I like this new you though.

Like ten minutes ago? I was such a different person then.

There are also plenty of other days I’d like to throw back.

Do you remember the time you wrote:

Is there any kind of rule on how much time has to pass before it’s a throwback? I’m thinking “last month” isn’t it.

Don’t have a rage stroke! Lemme help you calm down.

Persky made a controversial evidentiary ruling which allowed the jury to view seven photographs of the alleged victim “partying about a year or so after the alleged gang rape. In the photos, she is scantily clad, wearing a garter belt and what appear to be fishnet stockings.”

Wakka. Wakka.

I love imagining this being said by Fozzy Bear.

I remember that kid. I used to make so much fun of him as I sat outside of the schoolyard smoking cigarettes and praying that nobody asked me to play basketball.

He’s like the kid who used to show up at the schoolyard in authentic Jordans and Gary Payton jersey, yet as soon as you passed it to him, he dribbled off his foot.

White people invented sucking at basketball

I’m way older than Justin Bieber, way more out of shape than Justin Bieber, and haven’t played an actual game of basketball in over a decade. After watching the clips from the videos linked in this article, I am confident I could beat Justin Bieber in basketball. His game is trash.

Ballin’ in windpants like someone’s goddamn dad smh.

Headline: Bald Eagle Pummels Canadian Goose After All

A few weeks ago I went to DC and street parked. About 45 minutes later the barricades and police showed up — they were clearing the street for the presidential motorcade. It was really cool to see it go by — something like 27 vehicles — and they made sure the street was entirely and completely devoid of traffic.…

And why are her heavily photo edited hands on her ass?

I made myself some samosas as my celebratory treat. And my dog is snoring and let out a fart while I watched Hillary’s speech and that is her dog way of saying #ImWithHer.

I’m on my second glass & I’m about to break out some cheese. I also might have been singing “who run the world? Girls!” to my cat at the top of my lungs. I'm just happy tonight & nobody is gonna bring me down.

Same here. I voted for him and I still prefer some of his beliefs (although solutions are a whole different game). I now realize that Bernie was important this election because he set forward a progressive movement that is likely to help more progressive candidates down ticket, but this presidency is Hillary’s. She is…