I certainly agree that if you shove a delicious pie in my face you are going to get the hands, by which I mean a firm handshake of gratitude.

Probably cheats at running, too.

Either that or you’ve been spending too much time at Stormfront reading user comments about Michelle Obama.

No no, you see, they’re wise to his tricks now, and they WILL NOT FALL FOR THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN for the next sixteen minutes.

And then have to skip practice because he’s recovering from the effects of getting smashed.

What makes it even more Browns is that they probably thought they were trading away the chance to pick Jared Goff, which actually would have been a smart decision (from how things have looked so far). The universe sure does love to mock the Browns.

But consider the was that girl on the train who was REALLY uncomfortable sitting next to him. So your first instinct of Roethlisberger checks out fine.

To his credit, Mark Davis has actually been ahead of his time (and the rest of the NFL) in refusing to consider signing players with a history of domestic violence, so maybe there’s a bit of Al in him after all.

As much as I hate icing the kicker, it actually seemed to work this time, in that for his practice kick it drifted a bit to the right (might have even grazed the post) and then he seemed to overcorrect when he missed the second one.

What do you mean, “when he has a bad game”? They started booing him in the third quarter! Bunch of spoiled idiots.

I remember saying the same exact thing after watching Todd Marinovich torch the Chiefs one afternoon.

This was almost, but not quite, as funny as that guy who trolls fantasy football mock drafts.

Except that Iraq only carries Fop and Trump is a Dapper Dan man.

It makes me so very happy that the actor who said that line is the same guy that played Chubbs in Teen Wolf.

And God forbid they pay the kids they rape...

Andy Reid asked him to pick up a few things.

I don’t know why they tried to pitch this guy as the “lame” Tony Romo. Those “crownies” look delicious!

I feel like there’s got to be a “Captain Neckbeard” joke in here somewhere.

Probably less weird than you think, since someone who is dead presumably has less control over their raging hard-on than someone who is alive.

Ooh, this is a fun game! Let me try: