Sounds legit.

He tried to send a message to Jets management explaining the situation, except, well, you know.

Why not sell your patent to someone who DOES have the wherewithal to sue them?

Is he using it for a snap count or a crow count?

No, see, when you foul a guy and you hit BOTH arms, they cancel each other out.

It's a very fair point, and the only real distinction I can come up with (and again, I say this as someone who enjoys and respects trick sports) is that things like slopestyle and halfpipe are new. There's an argument being made that NO judged sports should be included, but it's hard for me personally to imagine the…

I know, it's a slippery slope sort of thing (zing!) when you start trying to single out any particular judged sport as not being "worthy" of the Olympics. But I think they should be a lot more resistant to adding ANY new sport with extremely subjective judging criteria.

Don't get me wrong, I love to watch that stuff too (and to a lesser extent actually do it myself), but I just think it deserves a separate home apart from the Olympics.

Eh, as someone who loves snowboarding, I'm not inclined to disagree. I'd be perfectly content if they purged all of the snowboarding (and skiing) events that aren't associated with a) how fast you can go or b) how high and/or far you can jump. All the trick stuff belongs in the X-Games.

Willis was the 11th overall pick in the draft. I'm not so sure how thrilled BIG JUSTICE would be with such a GLORY BOY superhero. I figure they'd want someone a little more working class to sell to the blue-collar Gothamites.

When it's just the two of us, my wife and I (no kids) use the same plate all the time. It's actually pretty common that we'll have one plate and two sets of utensils and just pass the plate back and forth as we eat from one double-size portion instead of getting two plates dirty. Maybe there's something wrong with…

Yes, except for the part where I get paid $75 per hour.

WAIT - I have a better idea. Paypal me $75 per session and I will not only give you a wake-up call, but leave the line open and I will yell encouragement at you while you work out. It'll be like that Spike Jonze movie "Her" except about fitness instead of love.

If you're basically paying $75 for a wake up call, why not have some fun with it and set up a cool Rube Goldberg style contraption that sets fire to $75 if you don't get up and deactivate it?

That's like a golf pro offering a tip of "always hit your drives straight down the fairway at a distance of at least 270 yards."

This would be a great way for my wife to track which mistress I am spending the most time with.

As does Donte Stallworth with Jolt Cola.

Except for the part where you have to stop drinking for a month, this idea is perfect.

If you'd ever had alcohol, you'd understand the appeal.

The same Brian Hickey whose primary contribution to deadspin was a weekly column that gleefully showcased homemade videos of people being assaulted and/or injured? The same deadspinner whose posts invited some of the most vile and racist commentary that has ever been published here? Oh good, I'm glad to see he'll be…