"There's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women."

I don't know. I just thought it was a combo of being excited and overwhelmed, and then having to rack his seemingly slow brain (c'mon this is Matthew McConaughey!!) to not embarrass himself with butchering Chiwetel's name. shrug. That's what I thought anyway. No shade.

Right, but that's exactly what he was commenting on. He was making fun of the fact that they all have screwed up priorities, and what they do isn't that important in the grand scheme of things—but by making a joke, he managed to say that without insulting the entire industry that he works in. That's why I thought it…

It was just a self-effacing joke. If THAT sets off your 'inappropriate' alarm, you must be a very sensitive person.

Yeah... that's what we call a joke. He wasn't serious. He was using overstatement to poke fun at his own life choices.

Ohh guy who makes people laugh for a living telling a joke.

The reaction of Andy Samberg to his win was the highlight of the evening.

How much human blood is too much human blood?

Why hold in your farts for a dude you've been with for a long time? That's your dude, dude! If he cant accept the fact that you fart he doesn't deserve to be there. If I fart around a guy that's not related to me he should take that as proof that I'm in love with his ass. Besides, you cant hold in that much farts man.…

Popeyes... MILD???

This plate is a portal to the curry dimension.

I agree with you, but, add sportsonearth.com and sbnation.com to your list. Great writers abound on both.

Me: Man you're going to love this chili. The depth of flavor is, like...damn. The texture is fuckin' tight. And best of all, it's spicy as hell.

Interested Colleague Who Doesn't Know If He Can Handle it: Whoa, really? I don't know if I can handle it. What is it, 2 alarm chili? 3 alarm?

This is why England is no longer an empire.

I'm struggling to find words to convey how fantastic that "No Sugar Added" line on the lemonade poster is. I think I love it because it illustrates the sanctimonious ignorance that drives Paltrow's worldview better than any diatribe I could come up with.

He wouldn't work at ESPN.

My Dad: "Why should anyone be shocked that a Le Batard gave anything away? That's all Le Batards want to do is give stuff away. Le Batards don't believe in the value of hard work when their beloved government is there to just hand stuff to 'em."

If Artie Lange never used drugs, he'd look like Dan LeBatard.

Anyone who tries to say this is not "Nnnnhh, peppermint roll" is a joy-killing asshole. Stop being joy-killing assholes.