Now cracks a noble butt. Good-night, sweet prince;
And flights of South Bayonne HS juniors sing thee to thy rest.

Put drunk Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in the opposite balcony and let them all heckle each other.

"as if stroking an erect oversized phallus"

I have to give her a 7/10, points deducted for the missed opportunity. This was one of the rare occasions when it would have been acceptable for someone to say "Ice up, bro."

You can't hear it, but one hand is clapping for you right now.

Darren, this is the sound of the world's tiniest violin playing for you. Don't worry, we'll get someone to help you hold the bow up.

"Get a handwriting expert, find that guy's apartment, and RUIN him." Too Sherlock.

Ad strawmaslope?

"Still, he's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a Cardinal and a guy like me..."

Nice job, Rod! I just checked the list of Jets QBs to remind myself who else he could have worked with. Now you get to explain to my kids why Daddy is softly weeping.

Oh, I remember which team he was supposed to go to. Occasionally (rarely) seeing my team beat Belichick is one of the few great rationales for me being an HC of the NYJ.*

Absolutely. It's not like Belichick was all sunshine and lollipops in Cleveland when he sucked, but then someone slept with his wife on the way to Boston and now he's awesome. He learned, changed, and got better. Correlating personality type with success is such a lazy-media thing to do.

He sounds like a perfect fit for Jed York then.

How's Schiano working out again?

And they do all that when it isn't a snowy day with reduced visibility.

I like the naturalistic approach. When I run I'm a Five Fingers guy.

I've tried to race-bate before, but by Mile 3 you start chafing.

Cue Hockey Guy telling us that this sport is better than the others because the tough guys 'never even miss a shift', in 3...2...1...

Julian Edelman always hated it when Coach made him sit on Gronk's lap.