Okay I have nothing bad to say about this Tweet Beat. WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO HATE HERE?! My love for Ice T and Coco goes on and on. And Tig Notaro, I like the cut of your jib.

I thought the one third from left, front row, was labeled “Babies.” They smell great, but only sometimes.

I was 13 when this film was in theatres, so I loved it at the time. That goth/princess duality just hits the sweet spot for a 7th grade girl.

Never gets old.

The schlock singularity.

I see your “White Bird” and raise you one evil twin Garth. There is no better bad TV than that.

If you drop the Alderaan glass, it makes the sound of people crying out in pain then goes silent. Disturbing.

Dear Lord that is the best interview. I saw Episode IV in the theater when I was 5. I made my mom fix my (long, dark brown) hair in two side buns for the rest of kindergarten. Also—wore a ringer tee with a Threepio and Artoo iron on decal. That’s right. The love has never died.

“We named the DOG Indiana!” I actually love that—is there anything less cool than trying to cool-nickname oneself? That made me like him more. After all, he’s a dorky academic.

Truly, that set furniture is a tribute to the Golden Age of Rattan. We had a coffee table like that when I was a kid.

“Our favorite pie and yours, too, I guess.”

Hard g’s are for commies.

“It’s dull! It’ll hurt more!”

Von Queso.

“there’s a tremendous responsibility that we all have just to not be fucking ignorant.”

Okay okay. But can we all agree that DiCaprio in that godawful beard is no one’s type?

This is his Madame Tussaud’s figure, right? RIGHT? Weirdest picture of him I have ever seen.

I want to watch this, in a way, but I can’t. I know that the vicarious TV embarrassment will kill me. So awful.

Has anyone asked Sarah Silverman about this? I bet she’s not fucking him anymore.

So the fairy tales are true! Birds picking the lentils from the ashes for Cinderella, all of Snow White’s little animal friends doing the cleaning, and now phone-fetching dolphins.