If you really have to be told not to put an industrial strength adhesive in your hair you shouldn’t be left alone with a glass of water.

We're not supposed to. 

I have never watched an entire episode of Friends.

To each their own but I can’t get down with “bathing suits” you can’t get wet. That one makes me itchy just looking at it.

I get the sense that the people saying “she wasn’t going hungry” would be immediately heading to HR with a list of state and federal labor requirements if their boss told them not to take a lunch break.

Police told the outlet that the pharmacist—whose identity has not been disclosed—caused as much as $11,000 worth of damage.

I believe Peloton’s official slogan is, “Fuck you, give us money.”

May I suggest that you also refrain from any and all “Diana” cuts, especially if you happen to watch The Crown while day drinking.

Has everyone forgotten (or even known about) Boston Legal?

I mean jeez, she did this stuff in every single episode. Does no one remember her single-handedly ending Dan Quayle’s political career?

Murphy Brown and Julia Sugarbaker (from Designing Women) had major influence in developing me into the type of woman I wanted to be. They were imperfect role models, to be sure, but also badass and unafraid. Growing up in the 80's in the south, I didn’t fit in with the well behaved quiet southern belle persona that…

I bet Dianne Feinstein calls it a mother's room

Literally from the source I cited just below written by a professor of architectural history at Northeastern University and author of multiple books about the history of American homes.   

I hate this idea. Maybe it’s just because I pee a lot and Minnesota has four seasons. But the idea of staying in some outbuilding, without a restroom, that I have to be out in the elements to get to? No thanks. Make everyone else in the house leave.

Whatever, wine mom. Live, laugh, love!

Theory: She sheds are the natural response to the “open concept” house everyone thought they wanted but quickly learned meant “No place at all to get away to”.

Can this possibly surprise anybody with a brain stem? Men get away with as much as they’re allowed to, always.

I’ve owned various houses since I was 22 (I’m almost 40 now). I AM SO DONE. It’s always worry, always fixing something, always landscaping or repairing or upgrading. I DIY it most not because I necessarily want to save money, but because getting a contractor in to do ANYTHING is damn near impossible, even before the…

Back when Dave Weigel was at Slate, he covered some minority event when Obama was running for president and...

Misery will do that :)