I'm a retired veteran, bitch.

To all of the misguided grey troll fools badmouthing the military here:

In Houston, he's only got to be better than Gary Kubiak.

The patient told doctors it began when PUTTING WEDDING RING ON PENIS and DROPPED CIGARETTE ON IT. Jumping up in pain, patient started DANCING AND RUBBING UP AGAINST SOMEONE REALLY ROUGH, fell backward and slapped it on a SPEAKER BOX. GIRLFRIENDS BELLY BUTTON RING then got caught on it causing patient to RUN INTO A…

It's really sweet to see a kid look up to someone like this. I just hope he doesn't read my child molestation jokes, too.

I knew this interview looked familiar:

I didn't watch the Francis video, but after Angry Joe's thing the other day, I lost a lot of sympathy. You can't blame the provider of a free service for making changes to that service. Youtube owes these guys NOTHING. NOTHING.

And while we're at it, people get changes to their pensions, lose stock options, get…

Well at least this settles the whole debate about whether D.C. is a Northern town or a Southern town . . . . putting your balls in the hands of your Cousins is a time-honored tradition in the South.

This wouldn't be the first negative response I've received.

When discussing firearms homocide, nobody ever seems to consider the US's draconian drug laws that promote gang violence.

The Lions fan knew the risks of going into Philadelphia while wearing their opponents' colors. His own fault for getting knocked out during a football game.

We've already been feeding Detroit for decades, and it got us nowhere. If you want to have kids, please plan for them. Buy insurance. Are you blind?

I swear to God, every time some public-educated, historically-challenged, mental-midget leftist comments about how we should abandon our constitutional responsibility to "provide for the common defense" in exchange for giving away endlessly printed money to "the poor," I throw up a little. Fucking internet, as great…

The staggering scope of the universe actually feels sort of comforting to me in a way. I mean, in essence, we're the end result of chemistry running amok through deep time. A small stop on the long journey to maximum entropy when the universe could look back on itself and ask "Why?"

Every damn time. And the only decent Shredder joke I can come up with involves the turf at FedEx Field.

"This is my baby, man," he said. "It's more than just a car. I didn't grow up with a lot. This helps me remember where I come from and where I'm going."

Been saving this creation for a long time.

I'll have to check the data, but this may be the strongest Internet argument point that has ever been made.

Who will clean up the ice girl?

who says it is about solving it?