“in 2002 Debra Brown was convicted of selling coke and subsequently sentenced to 20 years in prison.”

hahahahah

Yeah, I’m starting to think that if Trump actually raped someone in front of his supporters, they’d still be all, “Ha ha, he’s keepin’ it real!”

ummmmmm the fire marshal thing was like 28 hours ago

And yet, there’s an unshakeable core of supporters who will vote for him no matter what shitty thing he does or says.

“Ha ha what a bitch she believed me when I pretended to be ok with a baby can you imagine anyone so stupid?"

My husband and I were watching this as it happened and we were making bets to see which superlatives he would use: Beautiful. Tremendous. Big. I couldn’t stop laughing. Also, I was crying because, well because TRUMP.

“I love Hispanics. I love Hispanics,” Trump said to the audience. “Actually, I was kidding, you can get those Mexicans out of here.”

I believe it would have ended. With him walking down the street with all his worldly possessions on his back.

That baby is clearly on the Khans’ and DNC payroll. What’s it hiding? Ok? We don’t know, I’m just saying, is the crying a code? Maybe it’s signalling a whole cell of other babies. Ok? We don’t know, I’m just saying, Ok? Believe me, I’m saying things. Believe me.

He’s all of us in school writing an essay—teacher won’t read all of it, but she’ll check the page count

I’m pretty certain that all of Trump’s speeches consist of someone feeding him a subject, let’s say cats for this example, and he just fills in the rest with superlatives, verbs, and nouns. So basically his speeches go something like this:

I cannot even imagine my reaction had my husband tried to tell me that. But it would end with him walking the baby down the gd street because fuck that nonsense.

Supporter Peter Thiel chimes in: “They’re really only useful for their young blood and plasma”

“I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m gonna be walking the kids down Central Park,” Trump said in a 2005 interview with Howard Stern. “Marla used to say, ‘I can’t believe you’re not walking Tiffany down the street,’ you know in a…

That’s one patriotic baby.

I’m surprised because, for one shining moment, he didn’t have the smallest hands in the room.

Did he really say that? But that’s like...all the policy. I’m going to tell my next boyfriend that I’ll handle all the chores, as long as he takes care of the ones inside and outside the house.

It’s not a funny story but this quote was kind of hilarious in a Downton Abbey way.

I mean, it’s not even accurate. He probably doesn’t even own any minorities.