I went to a reunion where it was 3 days of non-stop socializing. I was even sharing a room with a friend. I'm normally a huge introvert, and I need my quiet time. A friend and I had made plans on the last night, but she neglected to tell me it wasn't just her and me - it was her and me and 11 other people. In her…

That's amazing. I'm glad his friend was there to witness.

When I was 11 or 12, a hairstylist cut most of my hair off. The look was nowhere near what had been discussed prior to cutting. It was probably 1.5-2 inches long, which was not a flattering look for my curly hair. I had a huge crying and screaming fit in the salon. I also locked myself in their bathroom for several…

One of my last semesters in college I had let my roommate talk me into renting an apartment at a really weird apartment complex in Austin called the Metropolis which was painted psychedelic colors and housed a lot of artistic and obviously drug friendly people. I was a middle class kid from a small town and a huge…

Hmmm

Totally will fuck up her insanity defense. "She knew they needed juice!"

FOUR AN THREE AND TWO AND ONE!

I have a kid and I still do 9 out of 10 of the things on your list.

For a looong time they are clueless babies, or napping, or in school, and you can masturbate with blocks of cheese in the bathroom for an hour while watching shitty internet TV and whispering sweet nothings to yourself in a British accent. Trust. Your…

1) Replace the lyrics of songs with curse words and sing them repeatedly.

With an opening like that, you know it's getting degreyed. Cheers!

TRUTH TIME. I was doing it as I typed the comment, while my boyfriend was taking a bath. He will notice tomorrow and be all "did you eat half this cake?"

Gross. (I'm happy for youuuuu)

Omg, I do this too. I even talk to myself sometimes. "YOU look great today!" "Get your shit together!" Sometimes it's a booty shake, a kiss blown or duck face. . . but I pretty much always acknowledge my presence when it's just the two of us.

I don't buy towels - I buy bath SHEETS - for a reason. ;)

Your town ran out of strangers?

One of my favorite 'single and living alone' memories is a bottle of chardonnay and a sudden overwhelming desire to get in shape. I had my hula hoop that I'd ordered after I went to Bonnaroo and decided that was my thing (it wasn't), so I picked it up and choreographed an entire workout routine in my living room. It…

They say 96% of all divorces are caused by the flower girl.

Good friend of mine got married, and the priest kept going on about gay marriage and abortion...but every time he did his mike would go out. It was pretty awesome.

At least half, amirite?

Although, because the X chromosome is so big, mothers pass off a lot more to their sons than they potentially do to their daughters (hence haemophilia).

Team Meteor Strike.