Which NFL team do these people play for?

YES! Did the chest tattoo get finished? What was it? SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS.

How did the tattoo come out?

Emptying a colostomy bag can be tricky, and usually ends up in front of the toilet when it goes wrong.

This is the Pissing Contest I have been waiting for:

Absolutely that counts—it's a good one. It reminds me of Paula Radcliffe, who had diarrhea in the London marathon a few years ago. Except: she didn't use a porta-potty: she just squatted, pulled aside her gusset, and let it go on the side of the road. On television. AND STILL SET A WORLD RECORD.

Ohhh, this is my whole area. My friends and I have regular conversations about people we know shitting themselves, as we all agree it is one of the most hilarious things in the world.

I've posted this on Jezebel before but it fits so well here too.

Oh my god. That's...wow. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time, find you, and just make you go home, rather than suffer through that day. I hope you know feel some catharsis because you 100% deserve it.

If the shitter isn't straight out mentally ill, it's an act of aggression. (I worked retail for a long time.)

Ok... maybe this will be good for me, like a last confession. And I swear upon everything I hold dear that this is absolute truth... *sigh*

Ok, what follows is the story is the most shameful moment of my life. I am an awful person. No one, not even my best friend, not even my fiancé, knows this story. Here goes.

My isn't embarrassing as it wasn't public but it was intense.

My day started out normal. I got up went to eat breakfast when I had a sudden urge to poo. I went to the bathroom, only I couldn't poop. Normally, I am in and out but this time it isn't happen. The longer I go with out pooping the worse it was.

I'd been…

My freshman year of college, I lived in a dorm with a shared bathroom for the whole hall. It was generally kept very clean, as the campus provided a cleaning service that was fantastic and, in retrospect, did not get enough credit for what they put up with. Anyway, one day, while in my usual stall, I noticed that…

I'm finally coming clean about this sh** show of a story.

Back when my ex and I were dating, I was really weird about pooping around him and his family. They were super white, and they were all so thin and wispy that I was convinced no one in his family ever pooped. So I'm hanging out and I realize that my tia's…

You should always link the story so others can share in your horror.

i poop like 3 times a day. it's annoying.

Just do what the rest of us do: sprinkle your dick with cinnamon and nutmeg.

WELL EXCUSE US FOR WANTING TO DREAM.

Ok, Kris.