Chris Siegfried has generously provided a synopsis after every poem; often, these synopses provide information about the true events behind a piece of poetry that the reader would otherwise not be able to glean on his or her own

Rocket scientist, man.

Yeah, I was thinking that she looked awfully weird.

Oh, oh, it's when someone makes a video of a bunch of "awesome" scenes... so you can watch a compilation of creampies or squirts or really anything. It's just money shot after money shot, so to speak.

Ha, the best thing about this is that they included the average visit duration, which is right around 10 minutes. Hilarious.

Oh, goddammit. That girl probably feels pretty terrible. There’s nothing worse than making a scandalous decision (like sucking some dude’s ween at an Eminem concert) and feeling super cool/strong/sexy for it, and probably getting plenty of positive reinforcement for it at the time, and then having that act shown…

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH WHEN PEOPLE ASSOCIATE FEMINISM WITH ANGER AND NEGATIVITY!!!! FUCKERS!!! ... I said, sarcastically.

Yeah, I'm from Indiana, NWI in fact, and I've been wondering why celebrities wouldn't just walk around strapped all of the time and shoot paparazzos' in the legs when they start fucking with them. I suppose I see the flaws in that approach: 1) I guess it's really not okay to physically harm someone just because they…

Are you fucking crazy? What the fuck sort of thing is that to say? I hope you don't actually think that and I am drunkenly misinterpreting your joke for seriousness.

Ahhh, yes! I am that smoker! I would never litter, but I do whip butts out of my car window all the damn time. However, I promise that I would never leave my butts on your lawn or your bushes or your porch. That's not a smoker issue, it's an Assy McSelfish issue, I think.

If I were cameling out that hard, I'd be offended if someone didn't post it online. Creep shot? Maybe. Also, who cares? He's rocking those jeggings.

In one of the earlier seasons, I believe she said something like, "I hear there's a credit crisis in America, so I buy everything with cash [wink]." After seeing the amount of cash she obtained directly through lines of credit, that little quote cracks me the hell up.

When I was about 9 or 10, I read my father's journal. I don't remember much about it, except that he had written, in explicit detail, about all of the ways that he thought about killing himself. Perhaps that's something that has impacted the way I feel about suicide, but I have always sort of respected it, myself.

This morning, I bent over in front of the mirror to check out my booty while wearing a really cheap, old pair of my yoga pants. Pretty transparent! I think there's a time and place for transparent yoga pants, though, man.

I can't even read Jon Hamm's name without feeling all embarrassed and uncomfortable. And it's all because I got drunk and stupid once with a dude who looked like Jon Hamm...

Thank you, Mr. Trump, for explaining how photo bombing works.

hey, anyone remember the amendment that posits that "congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion"?