Yes, I make wine and beer disappear. Whiskey too.

Yup, pretty much what my wife says :)

Is there a formula for my crazy eyebrows?

Not before nerd rage over it being "Sorcerer's Stone" and not "Philosopher's Stone" kicks in.

HE DID! HE WENT BACK IN TIME WITH SPOCK and oh forget it, I don't have the energy.

In pre Win 95 days, before plug & play, there was some skill involved in dealing with ANY hardware.

That's the best poster for a porn knockoff I've ever seen.

What? Who let JJ Abrams on set?

Elf-Man

Attacks begin on a Friday afternoon, on Rosh Hashanah. Shortest books ever.

YES I DEMAND REPARATIONS.

Fight Club - this site tells it better than I can:
http://www.cracked.com/article_20287_…

Dialing a rotary phone.

My one year old has my peanut butter addiction. Guess we made the right decision :)

Very rarely does a show make me nearly leap out of my seat with a holy shit moment, but spooning did it for me. Well done.

Farnsworth jokes are ready.

Everyone's pain is special. We might disagree but I wouldn't dismiss that. I have no idea how this hit him. I know that 5 years on there are things I still feel and think about .

Wait, are you serious?

Gonna brush my teeth now.