Ohhh I had a Gumby's at my college town, but I never got the jalapeno popper pizza (if it was even around back then... we're talking a decade ago). I was pretty not ambitious with my food in college —- pokey stix and a pepperoni pizza every time.

DESSERT PIZZA! That's the ticket. I think I'll have to do that before I do any regular pizza experimentations.

Definitely no knock there... I've got a few friends with celiac who have a wealth of food options available to them now that I would not deny them. They have, however, had to be particularly picky when eating out because restaurants treat "gluten free" as "yes, it doesn't have bread flour in it, but we did prepare it…

WHAT THE SHIT. I don't even know what to do with that.

No kidding about the arterial bracing... Cream cheese AND sauce AND mozzarella? How decadent!

It does melt a bit, but it also will brown up nicely on the peaks and ridges where it's been spread. I'm mostly concerned about the flavor / consistency. Eating something that gooey where nice, firm mozzarella once tread could be jarring.

That's what I was thinking... a smear of CC with some sliced tomatoes, basil, green peppers, and onions on top. Maybe sausage if I'm feeling like ignoring the ol' waistline for a day.

That's good to know, both that I didn't have to deal with it and that it's not as entrenched as I thought. Hopefully it'll go by the way of the Atkins diet and leave the gluten-free lifestyle to the folks that actually need it.

I... I feel like cream cheese on a pizza wouldn't be the worst idea. I don't know how to go about testing this without potentially wasting an entire pizza and the hours it would take to prep one at home, but now I'm curious.

"Oh! Well! Looks like you found those bread rolls after all. Wasn't that hard, was it?"

This is good kinja

Neutral Evil, I would think. The man has a system, even if he flaunts other's rules.

You inspired me to make one for Belichick.

True, but you really shouldn't have bargained away the animation rights.

Should have just let them have the frozen banana.

Consider yourself fortunate — most men's Drunkspins result in a much less desirable bastard.

"Fortunately for the unnamed Derplord"

The face of a man who failed to hold in a fart but takes solace in the knowledge that Peter King took the brunt of it.

Relevant:

I didn't have the foggiest about the middle of the menu thing, although it makes sense. Considering I've done a few tours of duty in restaurants myself, I feel like I should have noticed this sooner.