I feel dense because I didn’t even know they were like a thing.

Working title:

DONT HOLD OUT ON US.

Creepiest photo

This is just further confirmation of my theory that Paul Rudd made a deal with the devil and put a curse on the entire cast of Clueless in exchange for eternal youth. Think about it.

For heaven’s sakes, give it a rest.

I have absolutely no idea what to think about any of this - yet, I need to digest it - but it’s a hell of a story, and beautifully told, and I sincerely hope you’re writing a memoir because I would like to buy it.

ME TOO!

Really? Because he sounded kinda nice, right up to the last couple of lines. Sounds like he spent a lot of time letting a naive kid vent.

Why is your kinja name not “porkasshands”?!

Cillian Murphy! Ohhhh, Cillian Murphy. You broke my heart.

My mom terrified Tim Allen, once. She was shrieking at my dad (“Alan! ALAN!”) and naturally, dude thought she meant “Allen.” He bolted. She never noticed he’d been standing next to us.

They keep finding him drunk in halls surrounded by underage girls (17 year-old freshers) in various stages of undress. Last year he managed to get into ABH and slept with a girl before getting caught due to noise complaints.

my parents were craft service on that show “Method and Red” on FOX. As like a 16 year old (I’m 27 now), I would frequently come and work doing craft service shit for them unofficially, and unpaid on whatever show they were working on. I did it as a favor to them, but also I was coming out to see friends in LA that I…

Wow, considering how much you typed, I expected A LOT worse than that.

Ahahaha making a throw away account because my friends definitely know this story. When I was a senior in high school, I was really into the poet Adrienne Rich. Which kind of tells you all you need to know about the type of person I was at that point in my life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrienne_… for the…

AHH I love it when all the celebs come for the Dunhill, mainly due to the yearly letter we get about how Hugh Grant is banned from all university builings and residences.

One time I was flying from JFK to SFO, with a layover in Phoenix and saw Flavor Flav waiting at our gate. We went over and talked to him, he showed us the bag of clocks he keeps in Target bags with the rest of his Target bag luggage, and took a photo with us. He sat behind us on the plane (in coach) and yelled…

I was a huge largely unemployable drunk for a number of years. A couple of years before the end of it a friend helped me get a volunteer job for a $100 a week stipend plus room and board to work on Republican Congressman Tom Feeney’s reelection campaign. Feeney was solidly behind the polls (this was the Obama was…