Unless you’re the crazy one, then it’s cool.

Whereas NASL players are still cruising around high school parking lots (via carpool, no less).

At least she won’t have to change her name before embarking upon the inevitable career in porn.

Every man hopes his D is better.

Secret lovers. You heard it here first.

Shitty work.

Wet exists? Yeah, if you do it right.

Yeah, but Melvin (don’t call me B.J.) Upton isn’t a pitcher.

It’s always hilarious when guys who look like this think women are DTF.

Word is that Clover is really just part of J.J. Abrams’ viral marketing campaign for the Cloverfield sequel.

So since it’s not an easy process, people shouldn’t even try, right?

And here I was wondering when she became such a good golfer.

She’s hot, so I definitely would.

Only reverting the Buccaneers back to their original orange can restore equilibrium in the sports uniform universe.

So which other thongs did you dread to see at Old Trafford? Phil Jones in a sexy little number?

I think all countries should stop reproducing for a while, actually.

Given some of the people I’ve shared an airplane with, I’d beg an airline to seat me next to a St. Bernard or something. PLEASE.

If they were truly being dickheads, fuck ‘em.

I’m just glad to see that Andie MacDowell is still alive.

I’m just going to try to remember Charlotte Rampling for her wonderful work in Never Let Me Go. Try.