Can I work from home?

I’d like to give her a high pressure area.

Can we just finally admit that the planet will be better off as soon as we die off and leave everything to the cats?

Is he saying “keep pounding bitches” or “keep pounding, bitches?” Either way, I approve.

Chip Kelly needs to learn like I learned from my father...like he learned from his father.

Manning and Brady are white, Newton is...oh.

Steve Balboni

Right?! Give me the show where our female protagonist is like, “I came three times last night like a boss; still no kids!”

So Xenu was helping him stay upright. Big deal.

Credit where credit is due: I thought this would be another Haisley bitchfest.

So it’s been proven that Larin can only score when he’s wearing purple.

Accordingly, he definitely plans to dress as buff Prince for Halloween.

Michael Douglas isn’t totally wrong, you know.

I couldnt tell if Honduras was playing physical or we were flopping and confused.

If only there were a way to put the phone down and do other things. Damn shame.

I tried to tell her she was going to need a bigger boat, but no...

Are you sure you don’t mean Eric Wynalda?

60% of the time, it works every time.

Snail race>watching paint dry>watching you attempt to fuck.

I actually saw a lot of chatter about it on Twitter before I saw it here, so probably.

Considering how far his head is stuck up his ass, tongue-in-cheek should be quite easy.