If ever a comment called for a "cool story, bro" . . .

For those who say "but is he hitting his targets?", you are missing the point. Hawkeye isn't a guy who doesn't know jack about archery but has some sort of magical or super power that makes him good at archery - he is a trained, master archer. All of his abilities come from training, and you can bet your ass the first…

Saying that "he's going to miss the shot" or that his shot will lack power because of his bad form is incorrect. Hawkeye is not going to miss the shot — I'm sure that, when we see the movie, Hawkeye will make every shot, get ample power, etc., despite his terrible form. Which just goes to prove that Hawkeye is such…

I'd like to apply for a Brad Pitt problem. That's where you get to nail Angelina Jolie after gorging on a meal of jumbo shrimp and discussing military intelligence, right?

Geez, settle down, Mr. DeLuise.

We made out half-hardheartedly

hey, maybe they'll go back to that Indian restaurant again. MORE POO YOU GUYS.

So what began with a son with a damaged brain being locked in a shed, ends with the father being taken to the woodshed because of his brain-damaged ramblings. I'd call it poetic, except Craig James thinks poetry is for f—s.

Brilliant.

I like how Dan chose to do a fade-away, apparently in an effort to get the ball over the outstretched fingertips of the defender, one Hawley Griffin.

That's ridiculous. No, he's not a time traveler. He's obviously a vampire. How do you think he met Nicolas Cage?

In that same spirit, Kyrie responded that he enjoys playing with Jamison, even though he's an American Idiot.

Very nice steakhouse. Actually part of a Texas-based chain, but not a chain in the "Outback Steakhouse" way. On par with Sparks, Smith & Wollensky, Porter House, etc. in the top tier of NYC steak places.

I am dumbfounded that the words "Fresh Beat Band" appear nowhere in this article.

I think Matthew Mueller and @MermaidBanger were in on the joke.

Mr. Hamilton is then approached by a very average looking woman.

Considering the slobbering coverage he's getting from the media, it's surprising that Lin is the one who has something hanging from his chin.

If Mark Wahlberg and Rodney Harrison had been in that club when Gronkowski started dancing, there would have been a lot of blood in that VIP section.

Dante: Jack scored 31 touchdowns.

That might make sense, if Dantonio hadn't just finished his own 15 minute masturbatory speech about Michigan State and Kirk Cousins.