Why are all these sexy sorority girls gone wild stories coming out of Miami of Ohio? I refuse to believe that a single midwestern university holds a monopoly on dirty-slutty-sorority-girls-with-no-respect-for-others stories. Dash, please step up the investigative journalism and get some similar stories coming out of…

Since a comment ninja took away my star but let me live, albeit in lesser form as a warning to others, should I change my commenting name to Sofie Fatale?

@fishes12: Bartolo Colon is to homosexual sex as Alotta Vagina is to heterosexual sex.

Pictured: Anthony Kiedis celebrating with three invisible dicks.

@shmendo: In light of recent events, Fuzzy Dunlop is a little gunshy about responding since I don't have anything extremely witty to say. You can find me on the plushy.org message boards — they don't judge me there.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: I had to google that to understand what the fuck you were talking about, and I've now sprayed ice coffee all over my keyboard. Thank you, sincerely.

@starksgotejected: Well done. I only wish you had thrown in an "I haven't seen a _____ like ____ since ____".

@StuckBetweenStations: F: The older brother from "Charlie Bit My Finger", in a particularly disturbing E: True Hollywood Story circa 2020.

In this performance of Lord of the Rings, the roles of King Theoden and Grima Wormtongue will be played by AJ Daulerio and DirkToberFest, respectively.

Nothing, with the possible exception of Jason Collins, is more antithetical to the spirit of basketball than the zone defense.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Seriously, Tony Parker's asshole must be HUGE.

@I Party With Smoot:

@DirkToberFest: I just think everyone has lost pride in their work.

@Chamomiles Davis: The last time I read a manifesto this long, it was titled Industrial Society and the Future. (See how I'm building off your idea?)

@Donnie_Iris: Hit Bull Windpipe?

Forget being gored, the guy should go to a doctor to find out why his tongue is so swollen and discolored.

@Dolla Dolla Bill: No, it's true, it really happened to my friend! He also tells a great story of being in a girls house for a surprise party and everyone catching the girl calling for her dog with peanut butter smeared all over her privates. That's a true story too!

@Shawn Kemp's Lovechild: Pink socks and anal beads are OK, but teh gayz gross you out?

Steve should totally facebook friend the girl.

@Cdog923: Bowels . . . nicely done.