Are we in fucking Europe? The movie is called "Victory" here, Pierre.

@Brazil Thrill: Can I still keep him in a big jar in my basement?

@Sodboy13: I'm a Nets fan! Of course, I also pay women to stomp on my genitals while wearing high heels, so my fandom might not be a mark of honor.

@GreyEminence: You're half right, and half entirely-too-innocent.

@JohnDoe: Double play. She's a big baseball fan.

tl;dr

@roland_t_flakfizer: Yes. I know this because Michigan posted a job opening for football coach after Lloyd Carr retired. It is an open question whether they would have been better off hiring someone who applied through monster.com.

@bevraj of choice: It's terrible! And the portions are so small!

@tim_lincecum_dumpster: Or as Terrell Pryor calls it, the "University of Ohio State".

Savoring the bitter tears of Michigan fans? How else do you get your jollies? Asking orphans where their parents are? Telling an armless man to give you a high five? Stealing change from the homeless?

@Can I Borrow a Feeling: +1 wikipedia search later . . . holy shit, dude.

Hey everybody, my three favorite teams are Michigan, the Mets, and the Nets. I'm going to go kill myself now.

@twoeightnine: Damn, I'd play Coke/Pepsi with her anyday.

Seriously, what a douchebag, disrespecting women like that. Makes me ashamed to be a man. Now please excuse me, I have to shut the door to my office and look for online images of Sam Raddock for me to masturbate to.

@Desi_Relaford: Because that way we get to call someone racist! It's fun!

@SponsoredbyV8: Or the problems Doak Walker faces when he inserts his feet into ski boots.

The headline really buries the lede. Lots of deadspin readers have jacked it. But this guy actually had SEX. With a GIRL!

@Gilbert Publicly Funded Arenas: Excellent.

@LooseBalls: +1 manslaughter charge if I ever find you, you bastard

My wife is going to live a long and healthy life.