The comment about “the Vegan who thinks he’s Voltaire... because he is two standard deviations from the rest of the lockeroom” was by far the most delicious of all.

I’m an Ivy League graduate, high honors. Went to one of the best law schools in the country. I had every advantage. I’m not dumb, nor am I naive. I had the Dean of a top five university ask me if I was ok. I said I was. I wasn’t. My life continued down a sad path. Long story short: jus because people try to help…

As a citizen, DUIs are a problem (nb, I haven’t lived in the U.S. in more than a decade, although I live in a country where DUIs are treated like nothing...); however, as a human who has struggled in the past with alcohol and similar substances, there’s no doubt in my mind that this is sincere. The depths of despair…

Dad, you know that it's satire, right? The person who made the shirt is not being serious (being keeping in his created persona).

I’m a Rawlsian libertarian, but I was sure the end of the modern GOP was the Harriet Miers farce. You could plausibly defend Bush’s actions until then with some extreme mental gymnastics, but that shit just floored me. That was my On-the-road-to-Damascus moment.

Their longform is legitimately solid, however. Their ode to the beautiful slider by the [Buffalo] Bisons’ Greg Burke is delicious.

Are you a family of unemployed blocking sleds?

Or just stare blankly, with absolutely zero emotion, and then whisper: “roooosebud..... rooooooooooseeeeeebud........ ROOOOOOOOSEBUUUUUUUD....... [SHOUTING BUT WITHOUT CHANGING FACIAL EXPRESSION]........ ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEBUUUUUUUUUUUD“

I know what a hold-me-back fight is. In most team sports, fights are, axiomatically, hold-me-back fights.

Your parenthetical is perplexing. You went from Messi not starting a fight “with a guy that [sic][recte who] is clearly physically superior” (despite the fact that he obviously just did start a fight) to something, I can only infer, relates to gun violence in the U.S. by people you assume have a Napoleonic Complex…

Can you teach me how to make money commenting on Deadspin from home?

And he’s a tax cheat, as if our tax legislation for athletes in Spain wasn’t already sufficiently unpalatable from a societal perspective, he had to go Full Greek. Amazing athlete, but call a spade a spade.

Some days I binge on Zidane videos at work because it makes the mundane palatable. I was lucky to have been able to watch him regularly in the Bernabeau, but often you can’t see the magic in person. Everyone who could would try to find a TV to see the replay (everyone in unison looking for a palco if they were near…

+1 Gritcoin. And another to Wes Welker to Molly-fy the pain.

It really depends on how the rest of the class does. It’s all on a curve.

I think they’d concede your conclusion, but it was a painful, cringeworthy path of self-description to reach it.

Jordan Sargent is ON THE CASE!

I don’t know, I was listening to the Fresh Air podcast (I live in Spain, give me a break) with Buzz Bissinger this morning, and it seems like, at least in Odessa, TX, they’re pretty butthurt when someone has the audacity to call them out for specific racist incidents.

I would never waste 40 on a single stake. I mean, how are you going to make a fence with just one?

Yeah, what's the deal with nobody having a brush next to the toilet? I grew up in the U.S., but have lived about half of my life in Madrid. Did Obama/Jews/Freemasons throw out all the brushes or something?