Nah.

You know what will make you pregnant? A pitcher of Diet Cherry 7-Up + Southern Comfort w/ crushed ice, plus Barry White on the Hi-Fi.

You know the special effects people were drooling over this idea, then cursing their mothers over this idea.

THIS COULD BE US BUT YE BE PLAYIN

"DAT ASS"

People have kids and no imagination

How in the hell are minivans, CUVs, and XUVs so popular? I feel like a dog on The Planet of Cats.

The sad part is they would have been fine if the one up front hadn't stopped to ask for directions.

I can imagine the only thing that would be more horrifying is three women on the same cycle.

Devil in the White City is excellent, as is anything by Erik Larson. Read Thunderstruck and In the Garden of Beasts too when you get the chance.

Please. Skip town with your boy and elope. Go make a weekend for the two of you, even if you can't call off this shit show of a wedding. Then you will of had your special day and no one can change that. Fuck, you don't even have to tell them.

NO. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Your mom is the issue? Tell her your abuser isn't there under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE or the wedding is just going to be you and your fiancé in a courthouse. Girl, this is YOUR FUCKING WEDDING, AND FUCK EVERYONE ELSE. It means a lot to your fiancé? You know what means EVEN MORE to your fiancé? You. He…

Sometimes you just have to be firm. It's your wedding. You are the one getting married. That means that YOU choose the dress, as a couple you choose whether to have a five course meal or cake and punch on pretty disposables.

You NEED to tell your fiance that this isn't fun for you. I can see being in a situation where you don't feel like you can stand up to your mom/cousins because of whatever reason, but you need to be truthful with your fiance. Even if you lose a deposit on a venue or stupidfancy silverware, it'll be worth it just to…

Put your foot down. Pick the three things that will make you want to climb a tower with a rifle and make them non-goddamn-negotiable. If money is one of them, then make a list of the stupid expensive shit other people want at your wedding and make them pay for it.

This is serious stuff, you should have a conversation with the fiance and see if you can't get back some control of the day. At least over the guest list.

Yikes!

The scoping out is the best. I used to have a cat who would go from room to room looking for my older cat to harass. He would check on top of every bed by standing up like that.

It's been said, but... BOTH cats totes know what the deal is - note the ears. And the scoping out beforehand. That was intentional bitchery. God, I love cats.