When I was in high school, I worked as a bag lugger/general bitch at a country club. One of the members one summer ceased to be a member the next, and because he was a generous tipper, I was moderately disappointed by this so I asked one of the guys he usually played with where he went. His story was that the guy…

Your move, adidas.

Surprised the land of Rand Paul had the technology to rebuild him.

Arizona version of "If you find yourself in Lien's situation, I would advise that you:"

Cheating in this scenario is neither wrong, amoral, inefficient, or inexpensive.

If that's Tualatin, Oregon, then that wasn't a guy in a gorilla suit.

Other than the oil/gas field, what business is in Oklahoma? Other than you can get cheaper breast implants there. Every time I would drive into Oklahoma, I lost IQ points. That place is a red dirt nightmare full of drunk Indians, trashy crackers, and now bored blacks.

If three white teenagers had brutally murdered a black man a large city would have already been burned to the ground.

I read it and smashed into the car in front of me. I really shouldn't be reading and driving.

Good on the NCAA; what kind of traitor Marine should be allowed to play in a stadium dedicated to a Red?

I made up a word. A portmanteau of colossal and clusterfuck, really.

So tell me, is it clossterfuck or clusterfuck? Because I always thought the latter.

I made enough to share.

yeah no bail.

Umm...why would he be given bail? I don't pretend to be familiar with Massachusetts law, but it seems likely to me that with the mountain of evidence against him that he will be held without bail.

Stabbing someone takes a lot of emotion. This fucker should have a 1 mill bail and an ankle monitor

When he returned the baby back to its mother, he quietly whispered to the young fan, 'This is OUR fucking titty.'

"Not in '13, and not in '14. You gotta wait till '15 to play ball."

But the Cheddar Bay Biscuits are still good to eat, right?