He looks like the world’s happiest gnome.

I hadn’t even realised it until now, but I have been waiting twenty years for the opportunity to use “Do you like Pokemon, because I want to give you a Lei” as a pick-up line.

It’ll make ‘em weak at the knees, I’m telling you.

On the subject of silent protagonists, I’ve wondered about taking that idea and running with it. I’m not sure if it’d be a deconstruction, but definitely an exploration: Make the main character actually mute. You’d choose ‘yes’ or ‘no’ options in dialogue because he can only communicate by nodding or shaking his head,…

‘In the fall’. I want to know the exact date, damnit, so I can enter a state of torpor in the interim. Otherwise I’m going to have to be awake for some of the time between now and then.

What does her car smell like?

I can pigture the word in my head; It’s on the tip of my tusks. It’s such a beach when that happens, isn’t it? I’d be telling you a porky if I said that didn’t boarther me, but there’s no use swining about it.

The tip of the hat starts one of those cymbal-banging monkey toys going. The monkey wobbles across a table until it falls off and into pedal bin, which shuts, dislodging the slinky balanced on the pedal...


... Three hours later, a pair of scissors snip closed, sending a helium balloon floating up, altering the weight…

He opened the door with his bear hands.

You can tell he’s a really Good Dog from the way he’s not jumping up on the bench to get the berry even though that would make it easier. Good Dogs still try to take food off of benches, but they’re classy about it.

Getting the Beetle right was obviously the sole reason the movie took 13 years to come out. Thanks, VW!

Balls of Steel? Oh, so that’s where Duke’s working nowadays.

What’re the odds that James got lost?

Ah, the logical conclusion of Mortal Kombat’s graphical style.

What kind of mechanism do you have for breaking a tie?

I think most Princesses are Specific.

Until I Googled the term, I was wondering why you wanted the cops to imitate Randy Savage.

If I was driving that car I can assure you that I wouldn’t be asleep, but I would be a road hazard regardless.

Just to get it out of the way:

Not always. While Visa and American Express aren’t options, some of them use Moostercard.