Some dogs don’t realize they’re doing the wrong thing. Dachshunds, on the other hand, know they’re being naughty and love it.

I’ve four over my life and my mother’s had six. We will never, ever stop.

So Uber are theming themselves after a series about a post-apocalyptic hellhole.

It’s a good thing none of this turned out to be true, isn’t it?

Dark Souls 3: Prepare To Die Waiting In Line Edition

If he really wants to do right by the guy, he should keep him off the bloody field.

A Metal Gear Solid restaurant?!

Film yourself asking random passers-by what the hell you should do with it in the most bewildered tone you can muster up. Upload the most promising responses.

My plan: Get Fallout 4. Play it.

... That’s my plan.

I have an alternative that will please everybody: Doug “Humorless Ass” Martin.

What were the best retro cars, then?

All I could say when I saw the headline was “wait, it’s out?” This thing has flown so under the radar I think it’s subterranean.

Before you tell your team to ‘punch it up’, you should make sure they all understand metaphors. Misplaced literalism costs lives!

What I want to know is where the header’s from. I love it and I’m not quite sure why.

If your family arguments are liable to end in concussions then your point might be valid, and I certainly won’t be going near your picnic table any time soon.

Apparently it was very, very bad. It was a bad thing. According to all extremely vague reports, it was a bad thing that was verifiably bad, and not just bad, but ‘bad’ bad. Even the badness was bad, badder than bad.

I’m sorry, but to me the current Aston Martin grill design looks like the mouth of a fish with anger management issues. I don’t want to think that, I’ve tried not to, but I do.

What made the post OMD Spidey comics work had nothing to do with his marital status, and everything to do with putting an all-star team on the books with major editorial and marketing backup and letting them go nuts.

It’s that big skinny building where the air traffic controllers work, but that’s not important right now.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t read his name as anything excep Jim Tomlusa. My brain is already so convinced that he is destined to fail that it insists on parsing his name to reflect that.

In that case, Greg, what do you think is the long-term solution? It’s a serious question. You’ve put a lot of thought into this. What’s your manifesto, for lack of a better word?