Get rid of these damned autoplay videos with sound!

On a totally unrelated note, I get searing pain in my jaw anytime I drink cold liquid. So weird!

Ray Ratto thinks every time a team wants a play reviewed, it should have to pay $1 million in cash on the spot to a local charity, or take the call it got and shut up about it.

“Recently I have noticed a lot of people responding to text messages using the “Thumbs Up” emoji. Every time I receive this as a response to a text message it makes me furious.”

I’m 34 and can’t tell if I’m just turning into the “get off my lawn” type of person. Please tell me I’m being rational.

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

The balls are the chin of the penis.

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet ‘til you die
From your first Keurig cup
To your last pizza pie.

When you’re a Jet,
You can eat on the can,
“You good?” to the wife,
You’re a family man.

You’re never alone,
You’re never intercepted.
You’re home on your phone—
When sleep is expected,
You’re well connected!

Then on the set
Of the…

stay strong, Dolphins fans. You still have this guy to remember:

Okay, chuckle boy, I’ve enjoyed these but I think we need to keep some level of accuracy and accountability in journalism. Floyd did NOT “superplex” (as you say) Danny Amendola. A superplex, is a suplex off the top rope (and would thus be impossible in the NFL). If anything, Floyd did some variation of a gutwrench…

Dear Penthouse,

I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old and I love getting up with the 3 month old on weekends when he wakes around 7-730. Some quality daddy and baby time then he goes back to sleep 45 minutes later and I make coffee and sit on the deck and chill in the fresh morning air until the 2 year old wakes up (sometime after 9)…

welcome back dad but we like mayo here now

Sleeping in is overrated, mainly because I have never been able to do it. The best time to wake up is the sweet spot between whenever you wake up and the kids (or whoever) gets up. I can get 2-3 hours of pure bliss by being awake when everyone is sleep....usually I spend it goofing around on the internet, but it’s…

1. New dad loves mayo, which is inexplicable.

But the important thing here is that since Drew is gone, I can state for the record that the official stance of the Funbag is now that mayonnaise is awesome and delicious and one of our finest condiments and makes just about everything better. Mayo forever.

You can actually just barely make out what Chriss says if you can read lips. He says, “I’m so fucking tired of Draymond.”

“...despite video evidence that he walked into the space separating the students and Black Israelites and stood there before that students formed a semicircle around him. “

The only person who saw all this coming was Tony Romo. 

The, “OK. Thanks.” killed me. It was awesome because he was spitting straight fire in the booth, and he knew it.