Very meta. Also, I am an old and did not know this, lol.

Well this sucks. I lived in CA for five years and no one offered me Starbucks gift cards to put signs in my yard. Granted, I lived in Ontario, which most Hollywood types just flip off on their way to Vegas, but still. Wah.

Meanwhile, somewhere Mitt Romney yells, "I knew it!" as he sobs quietly and throws darts at his Big Bird dartboard.

Man, I wish we could have desk treadmills in our office, if only because when I'm standing I'm more inclined to go to the bathroom when I need to rather than keep sitting while thinking, "Oh let me just finish this..."

I think she would've been tipped off to his douchiness by her boyfriend's hipster Members Only jacket ripoff, but I'm glad Danny and Dustin could straighten her out.

Oh god. I was just feeling sorry for myself because I found out I have to work next Friday. But now I am glad that chances are I will actually get a next Friday. Sobbing all around.

Eh, I was just as ardent for Leif Garrett back in the day and that worked out well.

Tell that to Ann Richards.

Wendy Davis, Just Do It. And by just do it, we mean use your pink/red shoes to kick that steaming pile of shit Rick Perry out of office.

Wait to go Singapore. I thought buying up all the toys and selling them for 10x what they're worth was our (USA! USA!) thing??

Oh Flav...when Joe Francis is the more socially evolved person in your conversation, you've got problems.

Little Green Day boy. Oh honey. Just because they put a picture of something on the package doesn't mean that's what's in it, doll. Also, Green Day. You are the best one.

First healthcare, now paid sick time to take care of themselves and ill family members...next the working poor will want to vote in elections!

I'm waiting to hear what the butter flavored lip balm people have to say...

"but cats basically roll their eyes and continue to pretend you don't exist"

For godsakes make sure you pick the real account. Those troll accounts are awful.

Weekend plans? Done.

Me. At this news yesterday. Also knowing that Boehner, et al., spent all last night sobbing into their pillows.

It appears the only family member to be affected by this will be my dog, who is a Gemini. While I will appreciate his comedy stylings next month, that damn rent check better not be late again!

Yes, yes, yes!! But what was fucking great about last night is it brought Wendy Davis into the consciousness of the nation and hopefully into a run for the Texas governorship, will help kick out the jackasses you speak of when their terms are up and gives hope that Texas might turn back into a blue state.