Brilliant. It's like watching a toddler enthusiastically trying to follow along with dancing Teletubbies on the TV. He's so earnestly happy, I could just weep. It's the ninja turtle kicks and punches that really sell it.

There's a lot of awful people in my native land, mostly in Alberta and Saskatchewan, who still buy their albums and go to their concerts. I fear he has an amount of money that could be described as "stupid."

Saint Bearnard, Patron of the Order of Ursine Monks

Aren't we all?

"Oh, I never had to do this with Mufasa."

"NO SERIOUSLY, BEAR. I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!"

Done by a traveling tattoo artist who was following Phish through my college town, and knew my neighbor. It's supposed to be a combo of a peace sign, a woman's symbol and...a leaf I got covered up.

I am an owner of 10 rad tattoos and one... that is regrettable. I spent my sophomore year of college studying abroad in Denmark. At the end of the semester, my then-best friend (who was doing the same thing - getting drunk and calling it school - in Norway) and I decided to do a food and drink tour of Italy. Lots of…

Sadly, all too real. Maybe that is where they got the idea.

Not mine but good. My brother got a GIANT "Established 1986" across his upper-back between his shoulder blades. Then, in 2006 he was drinking whisky, took off his shirt and was wandering around a parking lot with his whisky bottle. So he see's a a cop and thinks he'd better scram so he turns to walk away and....…

It's been a few minutes... come on people...

Wait, seriously, i'm the only one to post a photo? Come on people!

My friend used to tell the following story: "One time I was about to fuck this girl, but she had a bunch of crabs tattooed above her pussy. So I didn't fuck her because how could you fuck a girl with crabs tattooed above her pussy?" Guess which part of that story he later admitted wasn't true? God love him.

I believe Lindy asked for photos?

not my tattoo, BUT:

This is a different kind of tattoo horror story.

I WOULD CARE ABOUT THIS COMMENT EXCEPT I'M TOO BUSY BATHING IN ALL THE CAVIAR NICK DENTON BOUGHT ME FOR WRITING THIS POST.

GAWKER PAID YOU MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO WRITE THESE LIES

ALL DOGS ARE PUPPIES!

YOUR HEADLINE WAS INACCURATE