Somebody was quick to update his wikipedia page

No foul? Come on ref, thats clearly and one territory.

the reaction shots in the background tell the story

What kind of monster replaces his hand with a football?

Blogger Doom vs Fantastic 4Chan

I'm sorry.

Stupid GIF won't work. I'm just getting a bunch of random images playing in the background, but the picture of Ellen isn't changing. Er, no wait. It's just a static image of Bill Simmons I mean.

Bullshit! If you've read a Simmons column, you know he is completely oblivious to the concept of scissors.

This is art.

My birthday is on Halloween and I can heartily endorse having your birthday on Halloween. The entire world is throwing a party. You go to school for the costume parade and you get to wear the birthday crown. Do you know what that makes you? The KING OF HALLOWEEN! Everyone gets candy but you get candy and presents.…

This was me letting the FIOS guy in last month

Ron Gardenhire draws ire, becomes 'Gardenfired' after Minnesota Twins' dire dumpsterfire; no word on next hire.

Get a job

Before anyone ever cared who's head I would cover, I was just pate skin from Northeast Ohio. It's where I was covered. It's where I furrowed. It's where I burgeoned. It's where I was combed. It holds a special place in my follicles. People there have seen me grow up. I sometimes feel like I'm their bald spot. Their…