I would rather watch the first season of original Top Gear flipped upside down in a sepia tint, dubbed over in German with Hieroglyphics as subtitles, than ever watch another Top Gear USA episode.

Top Gear Ethiopia - unwatchable. A solid hour of driving around looking for food. No substantive car reviews at all.

READ MORE, DAMMIT. Read more stuff or I'm totally going to shoot. I can FEEL it.

I know, right? I hate it when Torchinsky comes around and holds a gun to my head and makes me read stuff I don't want to. When I close my eyes, he has Orlove come over here and pry them open. Totally sucks.

Also, what's FOLKING mean? Or FEEK? And FASKING?

No, BIG news day for fake cars.

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.

Could be, I Just call it as I see it; Im a whale biologist.

I used to do this all the time as a child too. It's called "not having a dad"

OK, that's it, fine him, force him to sell all of his cars and ban him from ever appearing on TV or in print again.

As a final "fuck you" to the NBA, Sterling plans on dying tomorrow.

Fans should attend and simply, silently, ritualistically murder Donald Sterling.

I was travelling through the mountains of Colorado with my dad in a Porsche 944. It was our last day and we were making the trek from Boulder to Estes Park and through the Rocky Mountain National Park on Trail Ridge Road.

look! the gates... are... retreating?

Like this was ever in question.

Because Vagina

I have three boys, I do a lot of plunging. Shit happens.

...how often are you plunging? You might want to consider seeing a doctor.

ESPN has responded with a SportsScience piece, two 30-for-30 films about the incident, and a debate between Skip Bayless and a straw-man about whether shouting "Horn" or using an actual buzzer would make Tim Tebow a better baller than LeBron.