My first introduction to Celia Cruz and a song that still sing often at age 29.

I think I have it...

"Sweeter Than Fiction"

Uh every 80's song ever written?

People are going to drink soda. Who gives a shit if Beyoncé, T-Swizzle, or Katy Perry endorses such-and-such brand? Kids like soda because soda is delicious and hello, sugary.

I know you're bound by character limits, but my heart would be in much better condition right now had the headline been worded like this:

Now I'm Going to Tell You Something, But I Don't Want You to Freak Out Because Everything's Okay and She's Fine... But Dolly Parton Was in an Accident.

My exact thought was "Kelly Sheehan knows what it's about"

So I like a little sexytalk during sexytimes. But I don't think anything would dry my vagina up faster than hearing "that thing is swollen" followed by a reference to lunch baggies.

Katy Perry's innuendos don't seem so bad now, do they?

Comparing getting his dick sucked to wearing a wristwatch

You know Grump Cat? I made the Grumpy Cat face when I read those lyrics. Somehow the lyrics were worse then I thought they would be, especially the last two lines of the first section of the song. Yuck, that was something I didn't need to ever read.

What a dick, why did he have to force the PB up Marley's nose? He could have just let him lick it off the spoon.

"might"

I'd just go as Africa. Like, I'd go in a cardboard cut out of the country and paint it like those little kid maps of the world. You know, a lion in South Africa, pyramids in Egypt, camels in the Sahara— that kind of thing.

This idiot doesn't even realize that his point defeats itself. If Australia has no history of blackface, then they do, in fact, have to deal with the cultural baggage of the American tradition that they've decided to glom onto for funsies. You can't borrow the tradition from another culture and then say, "but we…

Well for starters, there are black Scots. Plenty of them. I lived there and gave birth to three half-black ones. So a black man in a kilt could very well be from Morningside, Govan, Kilwinning or Melrose.

For some people, their identity is tied to their hair. Some women are blessed with gorgeous locks, but not looks. I am one of those. My natural hair is the only thing that makes me recognizable and memorable. When I tie it back vs wear it down, people do NOT recognize or remember my face. It's all I have to feel…

I have always wanted to go to Africa (to teach English)

where is that goat pic that looks just like John Mayer... i can't find it...

I think I would have just nervously ignored him wishing I could think of something witty to say. Your non-verbal reply was 100% perfection!