I seem to remember that Troy Barnes finds sexy ladies comfortable, and footie pajamas are pretty comfortable ;)

Very likely what the Hall boys are thinking during these little social media search and destroy sessions, with a certain wistful regret.

After a long day at work, freeing the girls is the very first thing I do when I get home. I can do it without taking my shirt off. I am a pro. It's not about turning people on, it's about letting the ladies breathe a little amirite?

So...every once in awhile the Hall family sits around the table and goes through the boy's social media accounts looking for any young lady friends who don't meet the standards of the parents, practically scouring these friend's pages for any sign of so-called raciness or indecency, accidental or intentional, and then…

Why is it that we can judge Ariel Castro's actions, but people are criticizing you for your judgement of us expressing pleasure in his death? Because we didn't lock anyone in a house for ten years and rape and torture them, that's why. There is a big difference here, BIG.

Interesting. You believe that being pleased about the death of a terrible person is a sick thing to feel. I would argue that it is a perfectly normal and human thing to feel, given that Castro was a real life monster who stole the lives of three young women and tortured them for a whole decade.

Soooouuuuullls! I need your sooooouuuuuuuuuuuull!

This might be the first season where the name of the show is actually an accurate description of what is going on.

This marks the very first Dancing with the Stars that I am actually interested in.

Which is so much better than the classic porcelain doll "I'm going to come alive and murder you in your sleep" face.

No vapid Barbie half-smile for her.

Yeah I'm jealous, I'm jealous that you have so many Barbies, but you won't let me play Barbies with some of them you greedy jerk. I just want one or two, and a pile of clothes to dress them up in. What scenario are we running here? Prom? beach day? Costume party? GIMMIE ONE!!!!!!!!

The drunken game of poor pussy became oral sex with friends pretty quickly.

That sounds exactly like something I would have been into as a kid, and also now as an adult, mostly because of the costumes. I just want a bonnet :(

Woah, that googly eye costume.

To be fair, kids don't always get historical reenactments, so I'm not surprised they thought she actually knew George Washington (I am assuming that original question was asked by a couple of kids). I used to think all the people in mock historical villages, dressed up in old timey clothes, making candles, and…

That fur coat is made from pure-bred dalmatians by the way, each stolen from a little kid and/or volunteer firehouse. PETA doesn't just inspire the very animal cruelty it is trying to stop, it inspires insane, cartoonish plots against animals, and strange animal-based spite food. Oh look, now I'm participating in a…

I want a God Hates Bags bag!

Sounds about right. Gay men don't exist, objectification of human women is okay if it gets people's attention, as is attempting to make sweeping decisions about what food ladies can eat while pregnant because small penises are the worst, and dog shows like the Westminister are exactly the same as segregation and…

I've been a vegetarian for years, but these PETA stunts make me want to dance around in a fur coat eating a bucket of chicken and giving those idiots in lettuce underpants the finger.