Everybody can see your face! Anyone that close to my asshole is in no position to judge the aesthetics of it.

I would rather someone walk in on me waxing my bikini zone a thousand times rather than get caught bleaching my own anus just once. That can't look dignified.

What is with all the mesh mullet dresses I keep seeing this summer?

Because she is a deeply stupid person who just forgot?

Okay so what is the benefit of a bleached anus? I don't understand that particular beauty trend, and I definitely don't understand why someone would attempt to do it themselves. If I wanted that particular...look? Is it a look? or hygienic or...? Anyway, there is no way I would bend over and apply bleach to my own…

Stay classy Montana. But yeah, somebody is going to fuck that mattress.

Do not leave baby unattended in mattress! Babies may wiggle their way deeper into the slots and suffocate.

And when you're not making use of the mattresses handy arm slots for gettin' freaky, you can wedge your kid in there so it won't escape while you are busy folding socks in your fanciest pajamas.

There was even a sly Fugitive reference in there! This article has everything!

Your hands would slip into the cracks, and you'd touch something weird down there or something sharp, and you would freak out for a second until you realized it was just crumbs, some pennies, and maybe an earring, but the mood would be gone. The creases in the back of the sofa are one of the least sexy places on…

Muahahahahahahahahaha!

If I known that getting a degree in the Mad Sciences was actually possible, my post-secondary path would have been way different.

But trying to sleep with you when you are drunk is a true mark of friendship!

If increasingly weird and inappropriate therapy animals isn't a Portlandia skit already then it should be and soon. Therapy badgers anyone? Therapy Komodo dragons? Therapy eels?

That man, in addition to all the doxies, is now the proud owner of two dead badgers. Success!

Cast iron might be heavy as fuck, but it is the way to go!

That one guy had it in his mouth...eew. It says non toxic on the can, but I don't believe that.

Everybody is a great dancer in slow motion, that and a strobe light are like magical Best Dancer Ever pills.

Who the eff are they to think they can just decide what to do with your pets? That is a kind of arrogant and selfish that boggles the mind.

TEH PUPPIES! Seriously, my dog might be a little slow, and will eat any food garbage she finds on the street anytime faster than I can pull her away from it, but I am forever on team dog. Cats are fine, but my heart belongs to all the dogs.