What I love is the fact that the whole idea is to DIY with something you already have in your home, and yet people are going in droves to Michael's to buy jars that cost more than a proper glass.

I eagerly await Taco Bell's definition of what qualifies as "lobster" so I can avoid it.

CHIPOTLE ISN'T EVEN REAL MEXICAN THO. GUACAMOLE RAGE.

Ok, let's run through the list of supposed complaints:

It's okay...we will be sad people with you...in our restaurant with our stuffed animal dining partners.

HAHAHAHAHA NO.

Approximation of my stuffed animal needs.

Lies! You are an awesome person!

No, you are FUN!

This was loving posted on The Chive a while back…

I may have licked some things necessarily.

My name is Teddy. I never licked things unnecessarily. You will be hearing from my legal department.

+1000 Literatures for the obscure Terry Pratchett hat tip! Glad I wasn't the only one who wondered about that.

Guy is a cool + wicked, wet nap dude, wow-pickle ++ (doubleplus good).

I couldn't read past Meat Blanket. After that, everything I read said "Meat Blanket Meat Blanket Meat Blanket"

Relevant

To quote Tony Bourdain: "Guy Fieri is the Poochie of the Food Network"